“You don’t win by being a good player. You win by being a good person, on and off the field. ”
In the shadow of the Fourth Avenue bridge, nestled between a parking ramp and the old railroad path, there is a patch of grass where dreams grow.
Fabian arrives with his mother, ready for another day of soccer practice at Urban Ventures. He steps out under the stadium-sized lights, ready to work, not knowing that today he will get kicked off the team.
Since its inception, Urban Ventures has used athletics to connect with the community. Thirty years ago, mentorship took the form of basketball meetups at a local park. Now Urban Ventures has a campus with four basketball courts and two soccer fields of its own, and with them a chance to serve hundreds of local youth.
Alan loves the way he can invest in kids as a soccer coach. He understands that true wins or losses aren’t measured by the scoreboard, they’re measured by growth and development in each player.
Fabian has been working hard and his on-field skills have been improving. But off-field stress has resulted in anger toward teammates and bullying kids who are having a hard time. Alan warned him that he needs to respect his teammates or there won’t be a spot on the team for him.
But the anger boils over again, and Fabian shouts his frustration at another teammate, calling him a loser. When confronted, Fabian doubles-down, not thinking it’s a big deal, insisting his teammate should be better. It’s the final straw, and Fabian is kicked off the team.
As practice ends and parents gather their kids, Fabian’s mother walks over to Coach Alan. She is saddened, but not surprised, to hear her son was kicked off the team.
“I respect your decisions and I respect your rules,” she said. But the burden of trying to do what’s best for your child overtakes her. She admits, “He’s always in trouble in school. I took him to therapy. I’ve taken him to a lot of places and people to try to help. He just can’t control his emotions, he’s always getting angry and fighting people. Somebody told me to bring him here, because you teach character. If he’s kicked off the team, I honestly don’t know where to take him anymore.”
Alan paused, weighing the good of the team against the hope that maybe Fabian could come around. Alan doesn’t want to be another person giving up on the young man.
“If I give him a second chance, I will ask a lot of him. I’ll push him even harder,” Alan explains. Fabian’s mother agrees.
In the coach’s office, Fabian sits as Alan ponders his return to the team. “Do you think you’re a good player?” Alan asks.
“Oh yes,” Fabian replies, eager to prove his value. “I have good skills, I’m the fastest on the team, I’m stronger than most of the players, and I score a lot of goals.” He waits to see if that’s enough.
Alan pauses, “I don’t think you’re a good player.” Fabian’s eyes sink to the floor as Alan continues. “You are fast and you score goals. But to be a good player you have to be a good leader. To be a good player on the field you have to be a good person off the field. That is who your teammates want to follow.
“I want you to start helping your teammates who don’t know how to play. Don’t yell at them, teach them. You need to work on controlling your emotions. No more fights at school. No more outbursts at home. It is only hurting you.
“To be a good player you will need to change a lot of things. Not about your game, but about your attitude.”
“To be a good player you will need to change a lot of things. Not about your game, but about your attitude.”
- Coach Alan
Fabian sits silently, considering the cost of rejoining the team. Alan pulls a trophy down from the shelf and asks, “Do you know what this is for?”
“No,” Fabian admits.
“This is from the USA Cup. Teams from all around the world compete for this. The team that won this trophy was full of kids like you, but they had to change their attitude.”
Fabian stares at the trophy. Alan watches Fabian.
“If you aren’t willing to take the challenge, there is no reason to let you back on the team. But if you do what I’m asking you to do, you’re going to bring me one of these trophies. What do you think, Fabian? Can you help your team bring home this trophy?”
“Yes,” Fabian replies.
A week later, Alan answers the phone to hear Fabian’s mother crying. “I got a letter from the school,” she says. “They were writing to tell me that Fabian has been an excellent student. He is changing a lot, and they noticed. It is the first time I’ve heard good news from the school.”
“Fabian has been an excellent student. He is changing a lot, and they noticed. It is the first time I’ve heard good news from the school.” ”
At practice, Fabian is an entirely different player. When a teammate messes up Fabian circles back and runs the drill to help them understand. He begins supporting and cheering on the other players. Eventually, he is made a captain on the team because he is showing so much responsibility.
As Fabian’s attitude improves, so does the team’s skill, just like Coach Alan had said. When the tournament arrives, the team full of young players with little tournament experience exceed expectations. They play hard and they play well, with Fabian continuing to encourage and support his teammates throughout each game. They advance to the final, and 90 minutes later they emerge the champions of the tournament.
Celebrating afterward, the players take turns holding the trophy for pictures. Fabian waits, letting his teammates revel in the victory. When it is his turn, he doesn’t pose for a picture, he carries the trophy to Coach Alan.
“Here you go coach. Here’s the trophy you asked for,” he says, beaming.
Alan smiles back and together they smile for the camera.
Since the tournament, Fabian has continued to improve both on-field and off. Through soccer, the family has accessed a full cradle-to-career pipeline of support, with both Fabian and his brother participating in multiple Urban Ventures programs. Even mom is a part of Urban Ventures programming for parents.
Fabian’s story is an example of all the pieces coming together. Programs to connect with the community, families who look for opportunity and support, staff that tirelessly mentor, donors that regularly invest, and a participant working hard to grow.
Transformation is a difficult and complex process, and Fabian is a reminder of how beautiful it is when life change occurs.
You can help support life-change stories like Fabian. Please consider making a donation today to continue supporting kids in our neighborhood.
